Media Mayhem
by LadyStellaSkye
Summary: Ex-girlfriends are always trouble, especially when they're as annoying as Erica Sikes, so Ryan decides to make a move on the woman he really wants to be with: Natalia. Much Ryalia fluff!


Media Mayhem

"I'm serious!" Natalia smiled.

"Come on! You can cook?" Ryan laughed.

"Why are you laughing?! I'm a damn good cook!" Natalia persisted with a pearly smile, poking Ryan in the chest.

"I'm sure you are, I just never guessed you to be the type! I mean, no offense, I can't picture you with an apron and covered in flour." Ryan smiled. Actually, he could, but every time he did it turned...sexy.

"Well, maybe I'm not messy enough to get covered in flour." Natalia smirked, enjoying their banter and the playfulness in Ryan's hazel eyes. She lost herself for a minute, batting her long, dark eyelashes involuntarily as her gaze drifted to his lips.

"Natalia?"

"Hm?" She asked as though she wasn't staring a moment ago.

"I asked what you normally make. I bet you find that now you're in the field, it's too tiring to cook every night. When do you find the time?" Ryan chuckled.

"Remember last year's Christmas party? That Belgian chocolate cake with the creamy topping that you ate five pieces of?" She smiled. "I made that."

"Really?! No way!" Ryan shook his head, flabbergasted. She really was a damn good cook; that cake was DELICIOUS! "Seriously?"

"Cross my heart." Natalia said in a flirtatious voice, crossing her low-cut white tank top and looking at Ryan sweetly. "And hope to die."

"Oh, don't hope for that...then you couldn't make me more of that cake!" He said hungrily. "You've gotta make that again!"

"Maybe...maybe I want something in return." She said quietly.

"Like what?" Ryan blinked, fairly clueless about her flirting. The way he figured it; why would a woman like her like a guy like him.

"Mr. Wolfe..." Horatio's quiet voice called. "You have a visitor."

"Thanks H, I'll be right back." Ryan said to Natalia, dashing off.

Natalia smacked her head on the counter and groaned. She'd been flirting with him for months now and he probably didn't even notice. She was desperately trying to get the attention of a man...eight...years her junior. She'd officially hit rock bottom. At least he liked her baking.

"Hey Nat, what's wrong?" A soft voice asked sweetly.

"Ryan." Natalia grumbled flatly.

"Oh, trust me honey, he likes you, he just thinks you're out of his league!" Calleigh said quickly, hating to see her friend so discouraged.

"Don't tell me lies, Calleigh." Natalia warned.

"I'm not lying! He really likes you! He's just...shy." Calleigh smiled and shrugged, hoping to convince the older woman.

"Right." Natalia looked to where Ryan had went to see him standing and talking to Erica Sykes. Great. "He's not shy around Erica." She snarled with venom and jealousy boiling over like her blood.

"Yeah but she's...she's a bitch." Calleigh dead panned. Natalia's eye brows shot up to the sky, not used to hearing such profanity from the sweet little southern belle. "What?"

"Calleigh Duquesne, did you just swear?" Natalia asked with a dropped jaw.

"Yeah...so?" The platinum blond shrugged.

"I hate that woman." Natalia glowered, practically melting the steel counter of the lab. "She thinks she's just the best little thing to happen the world because she's this young little blond-no offense-Hollywood plastered news babe."

"Okay Nat, one; that was an incredibly long description. Two; none taken, and three; just because she's smug doesn't mean she has a reason to be." The creamy blond said pointedly.

"I know it's just..." Natalia's cheeks flushed indignantly, watching the petit blond talk to Ryan-her Ryan. Her fists clenched and her teeth grinded inside her tight lipped mouth.

"You're jealous." Calleigh stated with half lidded eyes, looking up at her older friend.

"What? Of coarse..." Natalia squirmed under the calm vert gaze that was normally reserved for guilty suspects. "Okay, I'm jealous."

"Tell him that." Calleigh smirked, her voice still even.

"What?! Cal, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth! Why in the world would I tell him that?!" Natalia asked outrageously, her skin flushing deeper.

"It would tell him that you're interested." She shrugged. "Besides, if you were here when I got dosed with coke and told IAB my daddy calls me lambchop my swearing wouldn't be that strange to you."

"What in the-never mind. I've been flirting with him for almost a year now, if he doesn't know I'm interested he's clearly not interested if I'm interested!" Natalia huffed, crossing her arms.

"Well I tried..." Calleigh shrugged to herself. "Bye Nat."

"Okay bye...I'm good here. Kinda..."

"So Ryan, I was hoping you'd be willing to appear on my show this Saturday. It's covering the new CSIs. Everyone knows Horatio, Calleigh and...Hendric?" Erica asked.

"Eric." Ryan replied flatly.

"Right, but we want to do a segment on the new investigators on the scene ie you!" She said with a sneaky smile.

"Erica, I'm not the only CSI trainee." Ryan muttered.

"Okay, but everyone who watches our news corner loves you!" Erica leaned into him. "And I can't blame them."

Ryan leaned backward until he was at a ninety degree angle to avoid being too close to her. She was creeping him out, not to mention she didn't smell bad, but she didn't smell nearly as good as Natalia.

Natalia's eyes were blazing as she watched Erica lean in infinitely too close to Ryan. She was growling like an angry tabby cat, seeing the woman lean in so close. A low rumbling in the back of her throat came to rest on the tip of her blazing tongue.

"Okay, Erica, please...mind the personal bubble!" Ryan seethed, stepping back, holding his hand out and holding her at bay. "Space?"

"Sorry."

"Why don't you do it on Natalia?" He asked, turning to see Natalia looking at her nails. She looked up and waved with a slightly crooked smile. "She's a great CSI."

"But my viewers don't know or love her." Erica huffed.

"Well frankly, I couldn't care less about your viewers, we have a lab to run-excuse me!" Ryan nodded slightly and one-eightied on his heel, walking back to Natalia briskly.

"What was that?" Natalia asked smoothly.

"Just some media mayhem." Ryan sighed, frustrated.

"What, you don't like the attention?" Natalia asked with fake shock, holding back her snide remarks.

"Ha, ha." Ryan smiled at the older woman sweetly. "That woman creeps me out. She reminds me of one of those little purse puppies."

"Really?" Natalia asked, laughing a bit.

"Really. Like maybe a blond little shit..." Ryan trailed off, leaving it at that. "You know what I mean."

"I think I do." She smiled, over the moon that he didn't still like Erica. "So, you want to come over for dinner?"

"Really?" Ryan asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I, uh, I'll make that cake you liked." She stuttered, averting her gaze as her tan cheeks flushed bright pink. "If you want, I mean..."

"Sure, sounds great!" Ryan said excitedly.

"Cool, meet me by my hummer after shift." She said in a hushed tone, leaning the ever so slightest bit closer.

"See you then." He took the opportunity to peck her on the cheek and dashed off, muttering something about needing DNA results.

"I love how _this_ is the _DNA lab_...right here...this will be fun."

"Hey!" Ryan's breath caught in his throat at the site of Natalia closing her locker door. She'd changed into tight blue jeans and a tight fitting, black sleeveless hoodie. "Wow, you look great, not that you-"

"Thanks, Ryan." Natalia smiled, remembering his adorably cute rambling problem. "You're not lookin' so bad yourself."

"Thanks." Ryan felt a heat in his cheeks as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He'd changed out of his suit and into a casual attire or black jeans and t-shirt under a sports jacket.

"Man in black." She said, grabbing her purse. "Let's go."

"Can I drive?" Asked Ryan.

"Hm...no." Natalia smiled, walking away.

"Oh come on! I promise I won't hit any squirrels this time!"

"Welcome to the Bat Cave, Robin." Natalia smiled, letting him in first. Luckily she'd done a kamikaze clean up just yesterday and everything was still immaculate.

"Wow, this is nice!" Ryan admired her house's interior openly; creamy walls with an earth-tone color scheme.

To his left was a kitchen small enough to be European with a bar to eat at. The counters were an olive-y green to match her living room rug and hallway walls while the cupboards were a tan color, like her couch.

"Thanks, I'm just lucky I did a whirlwind cleaning session yesterday. I wasn't expecting company." She shrugged, setting her purse on the counter. "Make yourself at home, what do you like?"

"Anything's good with me." Ryan shrugged, sitting on the world's most comfortable couch. "Italian's pretty easy. Take one pot, add water, let sit for fifteen minutes over heat. Take some pasta, put in pot. Done."

"Pasta it is." She smiled, going for the cupboard to the left of the fridge. "I'll make my special homemade sauce."

"And cake?" He asked with large eyes.

"Yes, and cake." She nodded, finding the look extremely cute.

"Want any help?" He asked.

"Thanks, but I can handle it. I think there's a game on! I'll get you a beer and maybe I'll join you while the pastas cooking." She smiled brightly, going to get a beer from her fridge.

"You know that's what the perfect women of every man's fantasy says, right?" He looked up at her and decided there was more truth in the statement than he first thought of. She was a beautiful, sexy, sweet, smart woman who could cook. The woman of every man's dream...

"Like yours?" She asked flirtatiously. She'd meant it as a playful flirt but the blush that came from her neck and the realization on her face of what she'd said betrayed her. "You want a stool to put your feet up on?"

"I'm good thanks." He dismissed with a wave, reading ABSOLUTELY NOTHING into her slip of the tongue. Geez...how oblivious can you really be-never mind.

Outside, in a tree, one creature in particular was watching the couple with beady eyes. The creature in question was none too pretty and it was one of those things that no one really likes, but it's there. It's eyes followed the woman and then flicked back to the man with a sneaky look in them. The creature was Erica Sykes. "This is good."

"Okay, it's done!" Natalia said happily, proud of her work. On two plates sat two nicely spiraled piles of spaghetti in a light, Italian pomodoro sauce with Parmesan and parsley on the top. A few olives sat on the side of her's while there was a piece of garlic toast on Ryan's. She paused...she hadn't felt so domestic in quite a while, but seeing Ryan laugh at Jerry Seinfeld on tv, the feeling wasn't unpleasant for her.

"This looks fantastic!" Ryan said excitedly, sitting down quickly.

"Thanks, I hope you like it." She watched him take a bite with eager eyes, wanting his approval more than she'd like to admit.

"This is the best food I've ever had!" Ryan groaned like his mouth was having an orgasm with the sensation of Natalia's cooking.

"Well I'm glad you think so." She laughed, never seeing such a facial expression on him...on anyone, for that matter. She picked up her fork and dug into hers a little more delicately than he had. "Not bad."

"Not bad?! I couldn't cook like this in a thousand years!" Ryan flailed. "You wanna know what happened the last time I tried baking?"

"Maybe, but you're giving the sense I shouldn't." Natalia frowned.

"I put the fire out...by accidentally sitting on it. Ruined my favorite pair of pants and I smelled of burnt cookies for a month, but that's beside the point." He said with a wave. "This is delicious."

"Why were you baking cookies?"Asked Natalia.

"Oh! I was, uh...I was making them for you." He admitted embarrassedly.

"Oh...well what for?" She asked softly.

"I think it was right after Anya was taken. I was trying to make them to cheer you up, but I didn't do so well on that." He said quietly, feeling a blush come to his cheeks like when he was ten years old, talking to the pretty girl at school.

"Oh Ryan, that's so sweet." Natalia patted his cheek encouragingly and smiled.

"You like olives?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I didn't know if you liked them so-"

"I like 'em!" He nodded.

"Open up!" She smiled. He did so and closed his eyes, and she couldn't help but throw a few at his face. When the three or four olives hit his skin it shocked him. "Bull's-eye!"

"Natalia!" He laughed. "I smell like a margarita now."

"I like margaritas!" She piped, throwing more olives at him.

Snap!

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

"What was that?!" Natalia and Ryan whipped around. They got up and looked out her kitchen window to see a tree branch on the ground and the bushes rustling. "What the-I liked that tree."

"What do you think made it snap?" Asked Ryan.

"Probably whatever's in those bushes." She shrugged, not wanting to investigate just yet. "Are those binoculars?"

"You wanna call the police-wait a minute." Ryan frowned to himself, realizing he was the police. "Never mind."

"We can leave it for now." She waved. "Who wants cake?"

"Oh! I do! I SO do!"

"Ow..." Erica grumbled to herself. Some miracle she was able to make it into the cover of the bushes before they came out and spotted her, but she was sure she had broken her tail bone...if not it had a bruise the size of Texas that hurt like a son of a father. "Double shit."

"Wolfe." Ryan answered his cell, smiling at Natalia.

"Ryan? It's Erica."

"What the hell do you want?" He asked sharply with a scowl, making Natalia take on a worried expression.

"Rude much? I am a lady, you know."

"Yeah, and you're a bitch." Ryan dead panned, no longer feeling the need to be even minutely polite. Natalia dropped her jaw.

"Ryan, I called you because whether you like it or not, you have a five o'clock slot until six tomorrow night on my show."

"I told you, I have no desire to be on your news show or even see you again, am I clear?"

"You'll come."

"Why so sure?"

"You'll come or I'll tell your boss about you and that woman...Natalie?"

"Natalia!" Ryan barked into the phone. Said woman beside him on her couch was looking at him strangely now. "Her name is Natalia."

"And Natalia wants to know what's going on." She muttered.

"Well I'll tell them about you two having dinner."

"How do you know about that?" He demanded.

"Not important. What is, is that you come by four thirty."

"Evil witch...fine." He tried to slam the phone but he had a touch-phone...no slamming option available.

"What's wrong?" Natalia asked worriedly.

"Erica Sykes knows about our date. She says I have to do a segment on her news corner tomorrow or she'll go to the directors." Ryan sighed.

"Ryan..." Natalia looked at him desperately.

"I have to go. I don't want to but-"

"Maybe you don't have to go alone." Natalia smirked.

"What?"

"I'm going to pull some strings with the feds. I'll be there."

"Erica, this is low, even for you." Ryan muttered.

"Well that doesn't matter now, does it?" She asked with the most frighteningly sweet voice imaginable. "When those cameras come on I haven't forced you to do anything. We keep it courteous and professional, maybe even flirt a bit, and we're done. Just act."

"I can't see myself as an actor."

"Ready in the wings?" Natalia asked the technical men around her.

"Ready, Miss BoaVista." One answered.

"Call me Natalia." She smiled, putting the large headphones on. She'd convinced some of her friends on the bureau to let her monitor the show from back stage, just in case something happened that was going to put the lab's credibility in jeopardy. Of coarse, she planned on intervening if anything happened that wasn't to her...liking.

"Okay, we're on in three...two..." Erica looked at Ryan, who glared back, and looked at the camera. "This Erica Sykes, on NCT."

"News Corner Today!" Ryan said with such a fake voice and smile one might think he were an eighties commercial saying it was healthy to drink coca cola with every meal. It didn't help that his smile disappeared completely right after.

"We're here with CSI Ryan Wolfe, Ryan, tell us what it's like to be a hero of Miami." Erica smiled.

"I'm not a hero, I'm a scientist, and I'm not even one of the best." He blurted. "Not even close. Horatio Caine, Calleigh Duquesne, Eric Delko, all a million times better than me. Those people, my friends, deserve nothing less than respect and admiration."

"Okay...well, we're here talking about the CSI trainees, the newer investigators on the block." Erica said evenly, trying to cover him.

"You know who's newer, but probably better than me?" He asked with a genuine smile now. "Natalia BoaVista."

Erica laughed nervously and unsurely. "Who...?"

"Natalia BoaVista, come on down!" Ryan held his arm out and motioned toward the entrance, sounding like a talk show host himself.

"Hey, Ryan!" She waved as she walked in confidently. She was wearing a black blouse under a white leather jacket with black jeans.

"So, tell us Natalia, how are things as a new CSI?" He asked happily.

"Things are great Ryan." She answered with a laugh, thinking about how corny they must've sounded. "I'm doing well for a newb."

"That's good, that's good. Now, you're a DNA lab analyst and specialist, how's the transition from Lab Rat to Field Mouse?" He asked. "I was a regular old cop before I was recruited."

"That's right! Well, Ryan, the transition was a little difficult at first but I got some good help along the way." She winked at him and crossed her legs, earning a glower from Erica.

"We'll be right back after these messages."

"What the hell are you trying to pull?" The blond woman asked sharply.

"Just thought I'd return the favor of being a thorn in your side." Natalia sneered, crossing her arms with a challenging look in her eyes.

"You're just jealous 'cause I still have Ryan's heart." Erica rebutted, crossing her own arms.

"Actually, we planned a bit of a surprise for you." Natalia signaled a man in the wings. He nodded and put his hands on a rope. "C'mere."

"What?" Erica followed Natalia out to the stage, where Ryan was waiting for them. Natalia took her place beside Ryan and nodded to the camera men to turn them on.

"Chicken butt."

Splat!

Erica was covered from head to toe in a green slime that oozed all over her person, followed by fake feathers. "Oh my god!"

Natalia leaned on Ryan as she doubled over laughing, tears sticking in her long dark lashes. "Oh, that's just too good."

"What the hell is this?!" Erica screamed.

"Green jello." Said Ryan, sticking a large feather in her bun. "And just to be nice, we're gonna give you a ten minute head start home before we release the chihuahuas to lick it all off of you."

"Triple shit!" She swore before she turned and bolted out.

"Should we've told her about the itching powder we mixed in?"


End file.
